Still Employed, School is Long, Summer Come Soon

I'm still employed. Everyday, fellow employees joke about how long I have until I'm fired/laid off. I swear, theres a fucking office pool going around.

Currently, I'm in the middle of a project that no other employee in my department is capable of handling. The remaining hardware can't be ordered until May, so the installation can't happen until then. Which means, I won't be let go until it's complete. A wise worker once said, "make yourself indispensible." So, I'm employeed until at least the end of May. After that, who knows.

The end of Spring semester is approaching. Right now, I have too much homework I should be working on, instead, I opt to write here. My communication class is going great! I'm at a steady 102%. No kidding. Top of my class. We just have one more group project then the final test(s). Two more weeks, then that class is finished. I really liked it. I really liked Psychology, too. Scored an "A" there.

My Calculus class is kicking my ass. I estimate a low "C" right now. The math is getting so complicated, I'm 80% sure I'm going to change majors. I mentioned this to my professor and, of course, she had intent to change my mind. The words of encouragement failed to take hold, especially considering that I'm 7 chapters behind and I'm more inspired to write on my site than pull out my book.

I can't wait for summer. I don't intend to take any summer classes. Spring semester is always bad for me because I'm hyper and can't stay focues on school that long.

My A.D.D. is kicking in again and need to change out of my work clothes for school.

Oh yeah, and I think I want a motorcycle.

False Starts

I have no time.  People don't understand this.  And perhaps, I don't understand this.  And perhaps, I just need to re-evaluate what time I do have and structure it accordingly.  I'm getting off track.

It would appear I have a little problem: I can't finish anything I start.  I have 3 unfinished books and I want to start about 3 more.  I have 4 unfinished video games, and I'm looking for another one to start.   What is my deal?  It worries me, how I can start so many things, but never finish?  I reflect on my whole life in this manner and wonder how long this has actually been going on?

When I was young, I skateboarded, as did almost everyone.  But, while m y friends became better, I leveled off.  I practiced just as much and just as long as the rest, but never kept up to their level.  Feeling the essence of failure, I faded out of it.

I attempted the bass guitar in my brother's band.  But, that failed because I didn't have "the ear" for music.  I couldn't wrap my head around it.  If I were shown exactly where to put my fingers and when, I did okay, but I lacked any finesse.  I didn't have the "soul" of music in me.

I'm not going to bore you with the details of my other failures but I think it's due to my Adult A.D.D.  It's not clinically diagnosed and I should probably go in for a check up, you know, to check my mental capacity.  That would be interesting.  I wonder if I am, "crazy" or if everyone just thinks I am.